i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You pole danced in your parka.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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