Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize