So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
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"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
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We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize