Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
