Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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