So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
