new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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