i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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