She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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