Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
i think my cat just said my name.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize