Duck Duck Cougar?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
