That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just pee around me
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
did i just pee glitter
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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