Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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