It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
