wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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