So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
