she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
