we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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