Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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