sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
