Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
