Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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