Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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