wat bout pragnant strippers??
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.