Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
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She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
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That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito