dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.