so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
