HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
