seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Randomize
