She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
