I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.