I feel great
I just peed on a car
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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