STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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