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• (847): View more from Illinois

  chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (516): View more from New York

  I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can

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• (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though

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• 

  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.

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• (229): View more from Georgia

  Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session

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• (432): View more from Texas

  Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.

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