Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize
