That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
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