i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
