WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Everything about him screamed your future.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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