i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
