Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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