Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
