Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
