dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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