If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
