yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Drunk is a universal language darling
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
