There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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