i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
