if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize