he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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