I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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