Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
