Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
