Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
