I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize