You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
