A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
