you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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