she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
