Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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