This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
