I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
No stitches, just platelets and will power
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize