So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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