So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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