i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
