Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(906): View more from Michigan

I seriously wish I was FB friends with her

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(618): View more from Illinois

oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"

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(778): View more from British Columbia

I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy

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(304): View more from West Virginia

His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.

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(520): View more from Arizona

she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"

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(573): View more from Missouri

his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"

(314): View more from Missouri

did it work

(573): View more from Missouri

that's not the point...

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(443): View more from Maryland

according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)

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(970): View more from Colorado

Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.

(303): View more from Colorado

Marry me.

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