We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
