her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
