Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I have feelings that need drinking.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
