i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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