and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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