Dual....:-)
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
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You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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