I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
